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‘My husband has burned by all of our funds. If we divorce, I don’t need him to get one penny.’ How can I defend myself?

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Dear Quentin,

I live in New Jersey, a community owned state. My husband and I have had a very rocky relationship and are considering divorce for the second time. My parents are both older, but fortunately in good health.

It was suggested that when they die I will inherit some money (about $ 50,000) plus an estimated $ 300,000 gain that would come from the sale of their home that I would share with my sister. Is there any way I can get this into a trust or somewhere my husband can’t access in case we actually apply for a divorce?

He blew all of our finances and left us nothing for the future so you can understand why I would be scared. And of course, if we get divorced, I don’t want my husband to get a dime.

Ready to call it a day

You can email The Moneyist at qfottrell@marketwatch.com with financial and ethical questions related to coronavirus

Dear ready,

First, the good news. Inheritance is not treated as common property in most states. It’s up to you and you alone, according to the law. Your husband does not get any insight. So if he has any ambitions to spend that money to keep him in the lifestyle he would like to get used to, he can reconsider.

However, this has some limitations. “This rule only applies if you have never” given “part to your spouse,” said Stephen J. Kaplan, attorney at Colts Neck, New Jersey. What if your husband said so? “There would have to be some significant evidence of a gift in order for your spouse to successfully satisfy their claim in this regard.”


Never mix up the inheritance received before or during a marriage and always keep the money in a separate bank account.

“For example, if you deposited all of the inheritance you received into a joint bank account and that money stayed in the joint account for an extended period of time and then a divorce occurred, the court will likely treat that money as joint conjugal goods that were “given” roughly in equal parts by you to your spouse, “he added.

Never mix up the inheritance received before or during a marriage and always keep the money in a separate bank account. You don’t need trust to make sure this money is yours if you get divorced. This is a rule specifically made for inheritance. This does not apply, for example, to work-related bonuses or lottery winnings.

Good luck in finding your way out as a married woman or divorced woman. Your concern about an inheritance hopefully years away probably speaks volumes to your feelings for this man and your marriage. Whatever you decide, choosing a life partner is the most important quality of life decision you will make, and often the most important financially.

The money is:My boyfriend, 9 years younger than me, doesn’t want to move out of my house if I die before him. My grown children are not amused

Hello, MarketWatchers. Check out the private Facebook FB Moneyist where we look for answers to life’s toughest money problems. The readers write to me with all kinds of dilemmas. Ask your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or check out the latest Moneyist columns.

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